My Only
lines blur as i
no longer feel
myself separate.
we are just one
fully immersed
in each other.
my heart races
as your grip
tightens pulling
me in closer.
you are all i want
you are all i see
you are the only.
Longing
my heart aches
of longing for
past moons spent
in your arms
sheltered by your warmth;
tonight’s chill sets in
as the hours fly by
eyes wide open
day dreaming of
future days where
each sun rise I awake
with you next to me
beginning my day
with the one I love most
Stuck on repeat
You have me stuck on
repeat playing this love
song all day long
each day I profess
my secrets in various
tunes describing
how magnificent you are
how special you are
how much you mean to me
I wonder if you will ever tire
of the continual song
until you recite back a melody
complimenting mine
mirroring my emotions
by simply saying ditto
Electric
particles surround heightening
tension between us
where each touch shocks
my skin making all hairs stand
straight as if zapped directly
by electricity from you
Confliction
each limb stays still
stuck to the soft sheets
not willing to move
my stomach rumbles
with no desire to eat
no longing for water
but anger of emptiness
never ending thoughts
repeat with a huge
to-do list accumulating
creating jitters displayed
by bouncing limbs
I am conflicted
unsure of my true feelings
but fully aware of
my ill health and
my wishes to get
so much done
Awakened
warmth invades
each particle
each desire
each breath as
i long to change
like the soil
sprouting new buds
giving life to
magnificent beauties
clarifying for me that
the time is now
the season is here
for every step i make
holds purpose
every time I act you speak
giving suggestions based
on perceptions you see
never aware of the entire
interaction.
I attempt not to take it personally
but my instant reaction is anger
and embarrassment, as if I’m wrong.
the words you choose are poor
so I wonder if what you say is really
meant for me or the mirrored you.
He heals me with
Every encounter.
Holding on to
Each moment
As if its the
Last time I will
See his
Magnificent soul
Eyeing me.
the bird chirps, flapping
its wings to soar.
it’s sole purpose living
each day, breathing and
eating for survival.
the bird lives simply.
the trees stand tall
as roots dig deeper,
grounded. leaves appear
in cycles contributing to the
intake and release of nourishment.
the tree lives simply.
the human wakes with many
contemplations, desires, goals.
numerous expectations all
constructed from illusions.
a definitive role continuously changing.
the human lives complexly.
What changed?
grey hills swarm above
longing to dwell
providing everything below
with nourishment yet
leaving some feeling empty
my body craves foods
that wreck havoc on my insides
but emotionally nurture - to a degree -
somehow leaving the fear
to escalate, run rampant through
my mind. so much of my time is
now consumed to put out the flames
and shove them under the rug.
All of this will eventually explode.
Point of it All
in the midst of my deepest
depression I ponder Why.
What is the point of me being
on earth? I feel as if I
am not contributing, not helping,
not aiding the world. I don’t know
how to use my gifts to impact others.
The question repeats in my head
Why have I been given life?
A real answer I still don’t know.
But I am certain I am here
to experience all of these emotions
and to build relations, supporting
one friend at a time. I think of
older societies, living to live - find food,
build shelter and enjoy the wonders
of nature. I have decided my purpose
is to breath in each moment and enjoy
what I feel now, today.
You
I stumble
You reach out to steady me
I fall to pieces
You walk behind catching it all
I criticize myself
You never agree
I put myself down
You bring me up
I curl into a ball
You wrap your arms around me
I shed many tears
You wipe each one away
I laugh as you tickle me
You smile knowing our love is here to stay
Yearn
I yearn for your
warmth - your strong
presence next to my side.
I put my arm out hoping
you will fill this empty void.
Tonight I need your company
your support. I need to
know that I am still loved,
everything is okay. I am
not alone.
The world isn’t crumbling but
I hurt. I wish you
were here because only you
would silently understand.
RIP 7/12/08
Please. Just Stop.
Please don’t ask me
to be responsible for you.
Please don’t expect me
to check in on you.
Please don’t assume I
will remember your big life events.
Please don’t bring me
your drama that your unwilling to change.
Please stop repeating yourself
and running in circles.
Please. Just stop.
I’m tired of being your friend.
